Ugghhh!! I’m so tired…damn this pressure. Can I just go back to sleep? Wait until morning? Hmmmm…nah, damn it, I gotta go now.
I get out of my dorm bed and head to the shared bathroom. It’s got 3 shower stalls and 2 toilets. I’m basically sleep walking to the toilet room, eyes only half open. Wait! What’s that blob? Jesus! There’s a person peeing right there – they didn’t close the door. Oh well, let me head to the other toilet. I’ll do the same, door open, and I’ll just pee into the water so people can hear that noise and know I’m in there.
Drip. Drip. Drip. Shake. Shake. Tuck. All done – back to bed.
Knock! Wait…what the fuck?! Knock! Uh! Knock! Is this door locked??? No way…is this thing seriously locked?? Did that idiot lock the bathroom door? Why the fuck would anyone lock the door?! …Seriously?? Am I locked in the bathroom? Why would there even be a way to lock the bathroom on the outside?
Knock! Knock! Oh man…this isn’t opening. Now I am slowly waking up…mostly from the rage induced adrenaline eradicating any dopamine left in my brain. Peaking through the crack I can see a metal bar between the doors. That looks like a lock. I never noticed that before. Can I unlock it from inside? Let’s see what’s around here…
Oooo…a skinny rusty ruler. Shoving that through the small crack into the metal bar does nothing. And I learn nothing. A few attempts and angles and knocks get me no where. Maybe someone’s a light sleeper. I not-hard, not-light, knock-knock-knock on the door several times. Come on…somebody…wake up…come on…
Siiiggghhhhh. I’m feeling an incredible amount of anger towards that bozo who locked the door. Who the fuck locks a bathroom door? And why the fuck even? I just visualize punching this idiot in his sleep. I don’t remember the last time this much anger came into me. When you’re super tired, that will power just doesn’t exist! I go to the toilet he was in and punch the air where he was to release some of this pent up angry energy. That’s not healthy…I think to myself, and let that action go.
After some more knocking I accept this fate and have a seat. Someone’s gotta use the bathroom at some point. I begin to meditate.
Ok, no one is coming yet…it’s been an hour. This is stupid. This is so stupid. Why even have a lock on outside of the bathroom! What are you trying to keep inside here?! And why the fuck would you lock it you stupid idiot!!!! Oh boy, calm down, settle down, ok.
I just want to go to sleep…I wanna feel good and healthy and awake today. Siiggghhhh! Alright, I’ll start singing not-loud, not-quiet. Maybe I’ll wake someone help and they’ll come yell at me or notice that they have to pee or something. “A whole new woorrrlldd,” “Ohhhh saaayyy can you seeeee,” “Part of your world,” “It’s a little bit funny,” “Collecting your jar of hearts,” “Under the sea,” “The lion sleeps tonight,” – nobody coming from nowhere.
That was fun, good time waste. Let me try to will these suckers awake. I imagine a ball of light around me and imprint my will to “wake up and let me out.” I push the light out into the 3 dorm rooms just down the hall. “Wake up. Wake up. Wake up.” “Let me out. Let me out. Let me out.” Wait…what’s that noise? Shit, I think someone is in the bathroom upstairs. Damn it – It almost worked!
90 minutes in the bathroom. This suck. This is stupid. So stupid. I just want to sleep. Alright, what’s a productive thing I can do here. I’ll do some exercise. Sun salutation yoga. Push ups. Planks. Push ups. Stretching. That was fun…
All throughout I’m peaking and not-hard, not-light, knocking and hoping. But nothing is happening. Finally I peak through the crack one more time. Oooo, there’s someone coming in from outside the building. He’s entering the lock code to get in. Ooooooo! Ooooo!
“Hello!” Knock! Knock! Knock! “I’m in the bathroom!” I’m locked in the bathroom!” (are these words seriously coming out of my mouth?)
He looks up, back from a long night out drinking, confused as all hell. He looks at the doors, doesn’t seem to notice anything and starts to walk up the stairs. No fucking way!
“Hey!” Knock! Knock! “Let me out of the bathroom! I’m locked in the bathroom!”
He stumbles down the hall like a sleepwalker and undoes the lock. The doors open. He does not understand.
“You were in the bathroom?”
“Yeah! 2 fucking hours in the bathroom. Some idiot locked the fucking doors,” I state with some non-mild aggression. But I catch myself and lighten up, “Thanks for getting me out,” said with a smile.
“Yeahh….no problem?” still unsure of the situation.
He heads upstairs, I head to my dorm unsure what to do with myself now that it’s nearly 5:30am. God damn it….that was stupid.
Oh my goodness – that was a frustrating situation. If you liked that Story Time, consider subscribing to my mailing list. At most I’ll send out only one email per week, generally less than that. Also check out the “Support Me” page and leave a comment 😀